Twenty years!

Barb at the DockaDecember 10, 2014

It was 20 years ago today that my wife, Barb, died after a long and difficult struggle with breast cancer. Twenty years. I can’t believe it. I sometimes think what I have packed into those twenty years and it saddens me to know that she did not get that time on this earth, too. She never got to cuddle her five grandchildren or to continue to provide nurturing maternal love to her kids who are now all hovering around 40 years old. They have gone half their lives without their mom. I feel sorry for them, too, for this. Dad’s are great but nobody comforts like a mom.


Gradualtion at UWO 1969

Gradualtion at UWO 1969

Occasionally,  Barb still appears in my dreams. She is healthy and part of the action, rarely says very much but she is just … there. I think that is kind of nice having her still hovering in my subconscious – there when I need her, just like when she was alive.

In those twenty years I have moved on, I think, rather well. I made lemonade, as the saying goes. With time I gradually morphed into a very happy and fulfilling life on my own. But I am always thankful for what she gave to me – many years of companionship and partnership, my cherished kids, and now grandkids that all have little bits of her thrown in.

Anyone who knew her will think about her today, remembering her fondly and with a bit of sadness as well.  Grateful, however, for having had her for part of our lives as a mother, wife, friend.

The fam.  1986

The fam. 1980?

4 thoughts on “Twenty years!

  1. That was sorrowful!.But thank God today you have very many children in Africa that celebrate the love that Barb gave you to live longer and help them.I am sure she is a very happy soul!

    • Thanks, Essau. Your comment reminds me of two things. First, it is not only in Africa that children lose a parent to illness. Secondly, my life took a drastically different pathway after 1994 than I would have anticipated but how wonderful it is to have opened up friendships and experiences in Bosnia and East Africa. One door closes and another opens.

  2. What a lovely tribute to your wife. I never knew her but she must have been amazing. You look so young in the pictures – too young to lose a wife! I’ll be thinking about you today…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s